well I can't set my house on fire every night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
