I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
