You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize