Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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