bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
