those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
