This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
