trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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