Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
