Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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