Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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