In the future we'll all be gay
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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