Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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