some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
