i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
