i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
