ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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