I love black thongs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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