idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
