I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
