dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
