You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Found your dick twin last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
