If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
