Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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