was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Two words: blizzard sex
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