the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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