it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
