...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
