he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
