I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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