Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
