i don't like sucking hair
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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