Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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