once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
