Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
