can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
