I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
