Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
