The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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