Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
