think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
