I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
