butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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