and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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