It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
