Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
