I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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