Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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