She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
