my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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