i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
