The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
