Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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