I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
