I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
