Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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