Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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