Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
