I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize