Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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