I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
