I'm going to jail i love you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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