I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
