Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
